Hai LJ ORZ After, like, a month, I am back with updates.

Early last July I went to the doctor's and complained of the various terrible things that happen to me at different times during my menstrual cycle. She immediately said that I should be taking pills---they wouldn't make me more depressed, they could only make me better. And I would have less PMS and feel less pain, and my skin might clear up (more). I was pretty optimistic, and I took my pills at the same time every day.

I spent most of July suffering with depression. It would make me feel weird to go into detail but I got really focused on how low and horrible people are. I started to have classic depression thoughts of "maybe I'm being punished for something I did" or "there is no hope (for me and my personal happiness, anyway)." Hearing this, my therapist said "stop taking them today." And so I did. It had been exactly 21 days of pill, and I was about to take my first white pill.

I was leaving for my vacation at the beach the day after that, which meant the part that is not so compatible with swimming and physical activity was going to happen to me while I was in the swimming and physical activity place. It was one of the weirder vacations I ever had. I was pretty even, pretty okay? Mom and I watched the end of Madoka Magica, and it was grand. But I spent the whole time terrified that the vacation house was dirty, and that it was going to adhere to me. And then I started bleeding! Awesome.

Then I came back and everything was fine. I wrote that thing about SSRIs shortly after I got off the birth control, so now I can blame it on PMS crazy AND being depressed!

The doctor who prescribed birth control was one I saw for the first time. I don't really know much about her except that she was enthusiastic about birth control. I'm worried that she is so devoted to birth control pills that she'll decide my very extremely real and painful experience with depression was not real or painful enough. Or she'll tell me that I need to be tougher because birth control pills are more important. (To someone who is not sexually active?)

Now it's the END OF AUGUST, and autumn is coming CURSES. I don't really know what I spent this month playing. There was a little Angelique Etoile, there was some Star Ocean, and I downloaded a new game I need to talk about in a new entry. A smidgen of Tales of Vesperia was continued, too. I played a looooooooooooot of Incubator (and felt like a bad person).

I have a new computer. I got a nice one for cheap, and with free shipping. The whole thing is ginormous because it has a big HD screen. There's a BD drive, Windows 7, it's fast, and it ahhh. Plaaaayys Aion Online...I worry that I waited so long that it's nearing the end of its lifecycle 8| I feel like I should talk about Aion here but surely my opinions cannot be new or useful to anyone because TERA is going to replace it argh.

As everyone surely knows, Tales of Xillia fast approaches. Oh my god. *flaps hands* I'm expecting to start playing it a week after the release date because slow transfer service is slow (and criminally expensive). I'm going to buy food specifically for the purpose of disturbing gameplay as little as possible while I eat, LOL (<---first time ever) A case of calorie mate to stave off starvation! And I'll give like half to my fambly because they consider it to be good hiking food. Yeah, I guess there isn't much with less sodium.

I'm going to buy two copies again (yeah, how's that working for you with Meruru Robinnnnn), so if anyone wants to buy one off of me! I'm slow as hell! And it's probably going to get localized in the US anyway! And I don't even want to think about what Bamco could do a few months from now! ORZ

I saw that there was another set of Xillia trailers. I didn't really have the sound on with the story trailer, so I couldn't hear anything, and I decided it was too boring to translate. More correctly, I can't be bothered to deal with more foreshadowing and all the srs business unless it gives me LOTS of information about the game. The system trailer was good though! It starts with Jude being all, "Yep! We got some good equipment here! ^_^ chirpity chirp!" OH STOP BEING SO CUTE.

EDIT: I went back and watched the story trailer again, so more speculation.
Did it look like Mira was ordered to use the Kresnik Spear? Spear runs on spirits, Nachtigal's sword lets him control spirits, and Mira is king of spirits. Now I'm also worried that Mira is a weird Maxwell clone that was not actually made with Maxwell's permission. But she has the name Maxwell would give her so who knows? If the lady in white is named Mira, then, er, that will confirm it for me.

Last week I read a factoid in a magazine: a study has shown that people tend to enjoy the plot more when they've been spoiled. Instead of rushing to the end to see what happened, they amble along finding even more interesting things. They know what to look for. This explains why I mostly wasn't emotionally affected by Madoka Magica until rewatching it ORZ And this has happened before! I was too busy shooting to the end trying to see if what I thought would happen was right. And I also tend to resent stories that try to act like more than just freakin' stories. ...maybe I should...spoil myself...but then I can never go back ahhhhhh X_X

From: [identity profile] celes-grant.livejournal.com

Yasmin made me nuts and crazy and I cried for no reason a lot. I stopped on my own because I'll be damned if I'm going to switch up who I am with drugs :\ I'm not active either, so really, there's no necessary reason for me to have them. Good on you. And sorry you went through it...

From: [identity profile] moumusu.livejournal.com

I don't mind drugs making me a little different as long as they don't, like, make me want to lie in bed and bawl while hugging a pillow because the world is so unspeakably bad. :( I'll be okay now though.


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