![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
It's too early for Christmas fluff, guys.
Roy: *shakes head*
Ed: Nope. Nuh-uh.
Theories on Frosting
Roy Mustang was wondering exactly how much like glue royal icing really was. Royal icing, for those of you who don't know, is an arguably edible substance made out of egg whites and too much sugar, and used like concrete on gingerbread houses. Like both glue and concrete, it could harden and be very hard to remove given a certain amount of time. He was slightly worried how long it would be before he would be able to take a shower. He had royal icing in his hair, you see, but he wasn't going to be able to wash it out right away.
Here is how Roy Mustang got royal icing in his hair:
Ed was making a gingerbread house. Alchemy had never mixed well with cooking, or at least Ed knew it couldn't make an omelet, so he was, understandably, making it himself, and making a big mess of it, too. Roy stopped to admire the carnage as he entered the kitchen. Winry, the big fan of machinery, had a new electric mixer she couldn't be bothered to use to COOK. Ed had used it, but apparently he wasn't used to it. It looked like he'd jerked it out of the bowl of whatever he was mixing while it was still spinning.
Ed turned around in his chair at the table and grinned at him.
"Were you using that...contraption Winry got for Christmas?" Alphonse, Winry, and Pinako had gone out for a walk and possible snowball fight in the fresh snow, and since Roy had been left to sleep, he felt some responsibility to care for the welfare of the Rockbell kitchen.
"Yeah, but I couldn't get it to work." There was frosting on one of the kitchen walls. "So aren't you going to ask what I'm doing?"
Roy complied, sitting down next to him. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making a gingerbread house," Ed said, showing fangs again.
Roy sat down next to him and peered at the little house. For all the mess, it was made out of neatly shaped and baked pieces of gingerbread. Loaded on top, really loaded, of all of these panels was a rainbow of candy. Roy saw gumdrops, hard candy, taffy, straight candy canes, peppermints, tiny white nonpareils, gumballs, and enough frosting to paint the entire structure. It looked like something between a cozy little cottage covered in snow, only barely a foot tall, and appetizing. Roy liked candy, and he was was torn between impulses to attack it, ignore it, and start helping Ed add a third layer of decorations. He frowned. "There isn't any candy inside, is there?"
"No." Ed shook his head and wiped a little frosting off his face. "Nobody sees that part, anyway." Roy felt a little disappointed.
"Well," Roy said, getting up. "You just tell me when you'll have the housewarming and I'll convince Pinako to send you a thimbleful of something to celebrate with." He turned his back to Ed, hoping Ed would find a way to keep him from going over to work on the dishes. There was a pause, and then a scraping sound as Ed's chair pushed back on the kitchen floor. Roy looked back at Ed.
Edward was standing on the chair. Instead of yelling, "WHO are you calling so TEENY WEENY he could live in a GINGERBREAD HOUSE?!" he lifted his hand up over Roy's head and squeezed the bag of icing he was holding.
Roy jumped away a step or so. He hadn't quite expected that. He touched the lump of icing on his head and some of it squashed into his hair, while some of it stuck to his fingers when he pulled away. Ed couldn't help but stare for a moment or two himself, until he snickered. Roy looked up and held Ed's eyes with his own as he licked frosting---it stuck to everything---off his hand. There was a long pause. Ed swallowed audibly.
Roy tasted the same as always, but with the icing, Ed found, his mouth was sweeter, buttery. Also, he was standing on a chair, so for once he was the one who got to come down to Roy's height. He liked it, and the hand that wasn't letting Roy take the bag of icing pulled him closer. Roy was indeed planning to decorate Ed, and that was what was delaying getting the frosting out of his hair. He had never made a gingerbread house---he had HAD a few, in his childhood, but he had never had experience with any kind of royal icing that hadn't long since dried. He could easily imagine, though, that since it was almost completely sugar, it would come out of his hair fairly easily with some water, and if not that, then alchemy. It probably didn't matter whether he waited for it to dry or not.
I'M SO MORTIFIED.
I don't write fic, so I don't know what this shit is. Maybe it's kind a vessel for the "short" joke. It's one of those happy AUs where people who are supposed to be TOGETHER and ALIVE are TOGETHER AND ALIVE and IN ONE FUCKING PIECE. *sulks* Also, where I don't have to go into any detail about anything at all. Especially Christmas. Yaaay! Everybody wins!
Me and that frosting oh boy. I am such a pervert.
I will never bake again...
Roy: *shakes head*
Ed: Nope. Nuh-uh.
Theories on Frosting
Roy Mustang was wondering exactly how much like glue royal icing really was. Royal icing, for those of you who don't know, is an arguably edible substance made out of egg whites and too much sugar, and used like concrete on gingerbread houses. Like both glue and concrete, it could harden and be very hard to remove given a certain amount of time. He was slightly worried how long it would be before he would be able to take a shower. He had royal icing in his hair, you see, but he wasn't going to be able to wash it out right away.
Here is how Roy Mustang got royal icing in his hair:
Ed was making a gingerbread house. Alchemy had never mixed well with cooking, or at least Ed knew it couldn't make an omelet, so he was, understandably, making it himself, and making a big mess of it, too. Roy stopped to admire the carnage as he entered the kitchen. Winry, the big fan of machinery, had a new electric mixer she couldn't be bothered to use to COOK. Ed had used it, but apparently he wasn't used to it. It looked like he'd jerked it out of the bowl of whatever he was mixing while it was still spinning.
Ed turned around in his chair at the table and grinned at him.
"Were you using that...contraption Winry got for Christmas?" Alphonse, Winry, and Pinako had gone out for a walk and possible snowball fight in the fresh snow, and since Roy had been left to sleep, he felt some responsibility to care for the welfare of the Rockbell kitchen.
"Yeah, but I couldn't get it to work." There was frosting on one of the kitchen walls. "So aren't you going to ask what I'm doing?"
Roy complied, sitting down next to him. "What are you doing?"
"I'm making a gingerbread house," Ed said, showing fangs again.
Roy sat down next to him and peered at the little house. For all the mess, it was made out of neatly shaped and baked pieces of gingerbread. Loaded on top, really loaded, of all of these panels was a rainbow of candy. Roy saw gumdrops, hard candy, taffy, straight candy canes, peppermints, tiny white nonpareils, gumballs, and enough frosting to paint the entire structure. It looked like something between a cozy little cottage covered in snow, only barely a foot tall, and appetizing. Roy liked candy, and he was was torn between impulses to attack it, ignore it, and start helping Ed add a third layer of decorations. He frowned. "There isn't any candy inside, is there?"
"No." Ed shook his head and wiped a little frosting off his face. "Nobody sees that part, anyway." Roy felt a little disappointed.
"Well," Roy said, getting up. "You just tell me when you'll have the housewarming and I'll convince Pinako to send you a thimbleful of something to celebrate with." He turned his back to Ed, hoping Ed would find a way to keep him from going over to work on the dishes. There was a pause, and then a scraping sound as Ed's chair pushed back on the kitchen floor. Roy looked back at Ed.
Edward was standing on the chair. Instead of yelling, "WHO are you calling so TEENY WEENY he could live in a GINGERBREAD HOUSE?!" he lifted his hand up over Roy's head and squeezed the bag of icing he was holding.
Roy jumped away a step or so. He hadn't quite expected that. He touched the lump of icing on his head and some of it squashed into his hair, while some of it stuck to his fingers when he pulled away. Ed couldn't help but stare for a moment or two himself, until he snickered. Roy looked up and held Ed's eyes with his own as he licked frosting---it stuck to everything---off his hand. There was a long pause. Ed swallowed audibly.
Roy tasted the same as always, but with the icing, Ed found, his mouth was sweeter, buttery. Also, he was standing on a chair, so for once he was the one who got to come down to Roy's height. He liked it, and the hand that wasn't letting Roy take the bag of icing pulled him closer. Roy was indeed planning to decorate Ed, and that was what was delaying getting the frosting out of his hair. He had never made a gingerbread house---he had HAD a few, in his childhood, but he had never had experience with any kind of royal icing that hadn't long since dried. He could easily imagine, though, that since it was almost completely sugar, it would come out of his hair fairly easily with some water, and if not that, then alchemy. It probably didn't matter whether he waited for it to dry or not.
I'M SO MORTIFIED.
I don't write fic, so I don't know what this shit is. Maybe it's kind a vessel for the "short" joke. It's one of those happy AUs where people who are supposed to be TOGETHER and ALIVE are TOGETHER AND ALIVE and IN ONE FUCKING PIECE. *sulks* Also, where I don't have to go into any detail about anything at all. Especially Christmas. Yaaay! Everybody wins!
Me and that frosting oh boy. I am such a pervert.
I will never bake again...