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You heard me. Roy winking at girls. This is what I think about ALLLL DAYYYY LONG. (When I'm not sleeping.) Like the random temp girl secretary thing that only has to talk to him when Hawkeye isn't around. She'll be talking, thinking, oh, well, he isn't that bad, I guess it was just a rumor, and then she looks up AT him. Now, Roy, he has nothing better to do---he's trying to construct a PERFECTLY accurate mental image of Hawkeye without her clothes on and not paying any attention, so when she looks at him, he's like, crap, better think fast. Roy winks at her, and when she can't continue the conversation and leaves, he's like, hey, she left! Great! (Shortly after, Hawkeye manages to get wind that Roy winked at her, and she's all like, "Gosh, I guess he does like her better, she's cute and not too sharp and she doesn't kick his ass like me. Yeah, I'm too plain and mean. He likes pretty little girls better." And when Roy gets wind of THAT, he's like, "I wonder if I could make her feel better by guessing the color of her underwear every...no. ...oh, whatever will I do...I will make paper airplanes and throw them out the window...etc. etc. silly Roy-slacking-off thoughts")
It's much worse when he does it to a waitress. He'll be sitting in some cafe, drinking espresso, eyeing the cake, and acting like some sophisticated people-watcher thing. He IS people-watching, or watching the hems of skirts as they go by. (He tried to bring Fullmetal to do this once, but Ed kept turning his head too much. "No, I don't get it.") Okay, anyways, he'll catch the eyes of some hapless chick across the room and HAHA I WINK AT YOU. She escapes into the kitchen, where there is a loud crash as something gets knocked onto the floor. This is a SPORT for Roy. (Ed shakes his head. "You rat bastard." Hughes is much better at girl-bothering.)
Do I need to stop writing semi-fanfic babble bullshit in here, or is this making you laugh? (This stays because there was an idea in there, but I could put that behind a cut.)
It's much worse when he does it to a waitress. He'll be sitting in some cafe, drinking espresso, eyeing the cake, and acting like some sophisticated people-watcher thing. He IS people-watching, or watching the hems of skirts as they go by. (He tried to bring Fullmetal to do this once, but Ed kept turning his head too much. "No, I don't get it.") Okay, anyways, he'll catch the eyes of some hapless chick across the room and HAHA I WINK AT YOU. She escapes into the kitchen, where there is a loud crash as something gets knocked onto the floor. This is a SPORT for Roy. (Ed shakes his head. "You rat bastard." Hughes is much better at girl-bothering.)
Do I need to stop writing semi-fanfic babble bullshit in here, or is this making you laugh? (This stays because there was an idea in there, but I could put that behind a cut.)
