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When I took lessons with Minori, my mother, Ann, Minori and I used to sit down and have tea together at the end of each one. Now if I go back and have tea there, after a lesson or something, like I'm going to have lessons there anymore, right? Ann's not there. It's not the same, and it never will be.
I wasn't close to Ann, or not as much as I am with Minori. I have this habit. Whenever someone hugs me I want to say "I love you." (I think I've surprised people. Certainly myself. =_=) So when I visited Ann, and when I hugged her as we left, I didn't mean to, but I said, "I love you." I felt awkward at the time, because I thought it would seem fake, but now that I think about it, just because a hug brought it out of me didn't mean it wasn't real. So Ann was kind of like a relative. For 5 years I saw her once a week, but I didn't know her that well, and I hadn't seen her for a couple of years up until then, but it was okay for me to say, "I love you."
I keep thinking about it. I'll hear funny jokes or talk with my mom or play a game, and it'll be nice, and then instead of feeling happy for a second, I'll remember, I lost something, and it wasn't huge but it won't come back. I feel a little like I've lost some of my punch. I doubt I'll feel bad like this for a long time, but I'll miss her.
I'm having pancakes for dinner. (Note: I may leave some in the fridge so that later I can discover them and exclaim that I have pancakes in the fridge.)
I wasn't close to Ann, or not as much as I am with Minori. I have this habit. Whenever someone hugs me I want to say "I love you." (I think I've surprised people. Certainly myself. =_=) So when I visited Ann, and when I hugged her as we left, I didn't mean to, but I said, "I love you." I felt awkward at the time, because I thought it would seem fake, but now that I think about it, just because a hug brought it out of me didn't mean it wasn't real. So Ann was kind of like a relative. For 5 years I saw her once a week, but I didn't know her that well, and I hadn't seen her for a couple of years up until then, but it was okay for me to say, "I love you."
I keep thinking about it. I'll hear funny jokes or talk with my mom or play a game, and it'll be nice, and then instead of feeling happy for a second, I'll remember, I lost something, and it wasn't huge but it won't come back. I feel a little like I've lost some of my punch. I doubt I'll feel bad like this for a long time, but I'll miss her.
I'm having pancakes for dinner. (Note: I may leave some in the fridge so that later I can discover them and exclaim that I have pancakes in the fridge.)
