cuddlefish | (no subject)

So nowwwwwww there's a waaaaaake todaaaay. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

It's only hitting me now because I've been in an inpenetrable funk for like the last 48 hours, but I'm going to a thing for a dead person for all three hours, and I have to figure out an outfit I don't hate (mom will help thank god), figure out what I'm going to say if anything, tolerate a wake and/or talk to people about how I feel. Minori will be there and she will be SAD, the whole thing will be sad, and I'm (internally) fussing over a RoyEd fanfic, bittersweet life etc., relationships, friendships, art, and various other shit I was worried about before poor old Ann died. I care, I REALLY REALLY do, but I'd like to deal with it maybe a few days from now, because I'm working out other things that make me sad now and they just came first, it's not like I picked it out. And I can't get out of this event, by the way, I'm not going to let myself say, damn, I can't go to a wake now. Not a fucking chance in hell.

HELP. I thought it would get better with a good night's sleep but I AM MESSED UP RIGHT NOW.

Ann will be cremated and her ashes will be scattered in Minori's gorgeous back yard. I think the wake will not be open casket. I'm going to bring cookies I happened to make on Thursday.

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I've only gone to one wake in my life, for my next door neighbor. I know what you mean, that sometimes it would be nice to sort of let the cloud of gloom pass before you do anything.

I know. I just want to sulk and now I have to go to some wake and socialize! T_T Leave me aloooooone.

Argh I hate wakes. I've been to them one too many times. As long as you wear something that has black in it you're fine, but I suggest you stay away from bright colors. Some woman thought it was a good idea to wear a huge bright red hat to my Grandmother's wake... I wanted to stab her.

Perhaps you should use the day to take a break from your life and to clear your mind a bit. Concentrate on Ann, then go back to your life. You could use a breather. :)

I wore a red shirt...well, it's maroon. And a black skirt. I thought it was sufficiently subdued for a wake.

I need a break from...yeah, I need a break from my life, I'm just not sure how to take it. I may take up yoga again.