The updated dwarf theory

[cuddlefish]

Yang: Go on, tell me about dwarves
Robin: The dwarf men are all old men with beards and the dwarf girls are all super loli
Robin: There are no adult dwarf women with beards or anything
Robin: There are no super shota dwarf boys
Robin: Just little old dwarf men and super lolis
Yang: So... maybe dwarf women die during childbirth?
Robin: Now, that would be realistic
Robin: My theory, constructed when I first played L2, is that dwarves do it with other races, such as elves
Robin: Here, Lindsay drew a picture of this
Yang: I posit that dwarf women burst asunder during childbirth, the fetus having gestated into a nearly full-grown size.
Robin: ........................
Yang: Similar to Athena sprouting from Zeus's split forehead
Robin: So those lolis grow into dwarf women with beards
Robin: And then they happily do it with the dwarf men?
Robin: Where are the dwarf boys?
Yang: no boys
Yang: maybe all are born girls
Yang: at adolescence, they turn huge and male b/c of a spike in hormones
Robin: ... o_o
Yang: some amphibians are known to switch sexes
Yang: they are born hermaphroditic with dormant male testes
Yang: at adolescence, testes mature and the spike in male hormone levels trigger programmed cell death of ovaries
Robin: ...
Yang: this occurs after childbirth
Robin: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/5875253/?qo=72&q=by%3Ahiyath+sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps
Yang: am I disturbing you with my dwarf physiology?
Robin: No, it's amusing
Yang: rather, endocrinology
Robin: I'm worried my dwarf physiology is bothering you
Robin: Because you had an explanation for it right off and though while it's disturbing, it's natural
Yang: ... is that Miaka?
Robin: No, silly
Robin: She only has that thing on one side of her head
Yang: oh
Yang: eh
Yang: right, well, of course I had a good explanation for that stuff
Robin: Yes
Yang: I'm a biochemistry major.
Yang: It's what I do.
Yang: Maybe they are born with an ovary that is just one huge egg.
Robin: ...uh-huh?
Yang: and once that is used, the ovary undergoes programmed death and testes take over
Yang: growth spurt, hair on chest, loss of personal hygiene, hate for all things pink
Yang: it's like postpartum depression and menopause wrapped in one
Robin: So once it's used...you mean, once the dwarves get pregnant
Robin: So they don't die during pregnancy?
Yang: I guess not
Yang: they don't die.
Yang: I used to explain the lack of women as girl deaths
Robin: That is a little creepy
Yang: but the phased hermaphroditism can explain why no boys
Robin: True
Yang: life span of dwarves: born as girls, pregnant as girls, growth spurt during pregnancy, childbirth once adult sized, loss of ovaries, dominance of male features post-birth
Yang: basically, the childbirth is like a metaphor for expelling all things girlish from their lives
Robin: Oh, now he's coming up with metaphors
Yang: childbirth has plenty of metaphors
Yang: loud, bloody, everyone wants it to be over fast
Yang: but this phased hermaphroditism seems much more natural and plausible than the lethal childbirth
Yang: plus it neatly packages the entire lifespan of a dwarf
Robin: Ehhh
Robin: Well, I'm happy you came up with it...I think
Yang: heh. heh. heh.
Robin: Yeah, I kind of liked my old theory where the girls chased around the elf guys
Yang: yeah
Yang: you're welcome to that personal fantasy
Robin: It wasn't really a theory, even
Robin: Shuddup

Wow. So, like, only 2-3 people on my flist are going to care about this (~_~) I just thought it was funny because with all our combined efforts, we came up with something funny but implausible, and then Yang comes along with a gross scientific explanation within a few minutes. Oh, well, I don't think he's ever playing L2, so I won't have to compete with him there. ♥

Speaking of competing, Runan, what level is your Spellsinger? :D;