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Basically, you can pick up from where I left off on the last entry, and the change in subject will make sense, but when you're finished, you'll be surprised I got so far away from where I started.
My favorite follies are the chit-chat about how the drugs I take daily shrink your brain and make you rape bunnies, and the "Abuse it---Lose it" "system", a great way to tell a kid that they have no control over their life to protect themselves from ridicule and punishment.
It focuses on the hyperactive parts of ADHD and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to address inattentive parts. That probably explains a lot of the bullshit this guy puts out---they don't exist to him. The daydreamy little girls---the ones that make the teachers shake their heads in private, only she sees it and knows that nobody will ever trust her with a life and home because she's so inefficient and useless, and by the way she's ten years old, will her life be six or seven more cycles of this---can just go fuck themselves. Or kill themselves, better yet, they'll never be good people, anyway. What's the point in seeing them? Or curing them?
It won't be cycles of ten years. The cycles will get shorter and shorter as she gets older, and teachers become more and more frantic to somehow shock her into perfect girl-ness, until she hears it from them every day, until they give up on her and she tells it to herself every day, every minute, every time she moves, and the clock is ticking, she is growing up and moving on, and if she doesn't show some responsibility, she'll fall apart in college. And everybody tells her she made that recording in her head herself, without the teacher's permission, that poor teacher is a martyr in her head, what a fucked up girl.
You just never know what's going on in peoples' heads, do ya? ...can't believe she tried to hurt herself...
They're sad she took all those pills because they've heard it's what people who are very sad do. They're not sad because she feels like a monster. They never thought of it. And she hates them for not realizing. But if she screamed it at the top of her lungs that she hurt, finally came out with the big cry for help that everybody wants to hear, and beat at people and things just to mark them and give them no excuse not to hear, tore the thoughts into whatever her body could change, they would call her violent, raging, uncontrollable. They wouldn't believe how weak and senseless and self-centered she was. For tearing up that sheet. Breaking that glass. Throwing a book at someone. And screaming. Hopeless.
Nobody has to be that way. You made yourself that way.
She's theatrical. She lives in utter luxury. A victim of child abuse, someone who was raped multiple times, a homeless person, someone who's been beaten, someone starving, they're the ones with the reasons to throw themselves on their environment like that.
Don't want her in there with their common, common sense and mind that never touched anything more than lightly. Don't want to fall into her soft, waving, ocean inside.
No, nothing has happened, I'm honestly not as upset as I sound. This is all something I've been over in my head so many times I can articulate it without it hurting too much. ...I just have to write lots of oh-so poetic run-on sentences. Really, it's crap. Typical, like. (I've only ever done the book-throwing thing.) Oh, but I'm not locking up this entry because I actually kind of want random passersby to see it and be inspired, haha. ...I kind of want it to make someone else feel better, too, like.
Before I stop, it's worth mentioning that in Full Moon wo Sagashite, when Mitsuki and Takuto are standing around in a river and she finally tells him what's going on---when I first read it, I identified with Mitsuki a lot. I was PISSED at Takuto for being all, OH I DON'T HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING HEARTBEAT. STFU, man, I don't take comparisons as comfort.
Then I looked at his face properly.
I like Arina because instead of making him look utterly shocked and unable to say anything, he looked like he was gonna cry, too. There was actual want there, need to hold his little girl who was hurting so BAD right there. We know he really, really cares about Mitsuki because her feels her, too.
Maybe it's just because I forgot myself, but I feel like Arina could have forgotten to make him sympathetic that way. I'm happy she didn't. Salve for my own situation.
HAHA OMG I SAID SALVE. =_=
My favorite follies are the chit-chat about how the drugs I take daily shrink your brain and make you rape bunnies, and the "Abuse it---Lose it" "system", a great way to tell a kid that they have no control over their life to protect themselves from ridicule and punishment.
It focuses on the hyperactive parts of ADHD and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to address inattentive parts. That probably explains a lot of the bullshit this guy puts out---they don't exist to him. The daydreamy little girls---the ones that make the teachers shake their heads in private, only she sees it and knows that nobody will ever trust her with a life and home because she's so inefficient and useless, and by the way she's ten years old, will her life be six or seven more cycles of this---can just go fuck themselves. Or kill themselves, better yet, they'll never be good people, anyway. What's the point in seeing them? Or curing them?
It won't be cycles of ten years. The cycles will get shorter and shorter as she gets older, and teachers become more and more frantic to somehow shock her into perfect girl-ness, until she hears it from them every day, until they give up on her and she tells it to herself every day, every minute, every time she moves, and the clock is ticking, she is growing up and moving on, and if she doesn't show some responsibility, she'll fall apart in college. And everybody tells her she made that recording in her head herself, without the teacher's permission, that poor teacher is a martyr in her head, what a fucked up girl.
You just never know what's going on in peoples' heads, do ya? ...can't believe she tried to hurt herself...
They're sad she took all those pills because they've heard it's what people who are very sad do. They're not sad because she feels like a monster. They never thought of it. And she hates them for not realizing. But if she screamed it at the top of her lungs that she hurt, finally came out with the big cry for help that everybody wants to hear, and beat at people and things just to mark them and give them no excuse not to hear, tore the thoughts into whatever her body could change, they would call her violent, raging, uncontrollable. They wouldn't believe how weak and senseless and self-centered she was. For tearing up that sheet. Breaking that glass. Throwing a book at someone. And screaming. Hopeless.
Nobody has to be that way. You made yourself that way.
She's theatrical. She lives in utter luxury. A victim of child abuse, someone who was raped multiple times, a homeless person, someone who's been beaten, someone starving, they're the ones with the reasons to throw themselves on their environment like that.
Don't want her in there with their common, common sense and mind that never touched anything more than lightly. Don't want to fall into her soft, waving, ocean inside.
No, nothing has happened, I'm honestly not as upset as I sound. This is all something I've been over in my head so many times I can articulate it without it hurting too much. ...I just have to write lots of oh-so poetic run-on sentences. Really, it's crap. Typical, like. (I've only ever done the book-throwing thing.) Oh, but I'm not locking up this entry because I actually kind of want random passersby to see it and be inspired, haha. ...I kind of want it to make someone else feel better, too, like.
Before I stop, it's worth mentioning that in Full Moon wo Sagashite, when Mitsuki and Takuto are standing around in a river and she finally tells him what's going on---when I first read it, I identified with Mitsuki a lot. I was PISSED at Takuto for being all, OH I DON'T HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING HEARTBEAT. STFU, man, I don't take comparisons as comfort.
Then I looked at his face properly.
I like Arina because instead of making him look utterly shocked and unable to say anything, he looked like he was gonna cry, too. There was actual want there, need to hold his little girl who was hurting so BAD right there. We know he really, really cares about Mitsuki because her feels her, too.
Maybe it's just because I forgot myself, but I feel like Arina could have forgotten to make him sympathetic that way. I'm happy she didn't. Salve for my own situation.
HAHA OMG I SAID SALVE. =_=
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From:
ADHD is ADD in Oz I think...
Anyway, the guy went through similar feelings, mood swings, murderous rage etc, but once he hit university pretty much everything started to go right (something about choosing yourself what you are doing I think) and while he still uses the drugs, he doesn't find himself using them as often as he used to. Haven't seen the guy in years now though, so no idea if all is still going well.
Re: ADHD is ADD in Oz I think...
From: