MMORPGs will suck you dry and leave you empty. But boy are they fun. If you ever play, find a way to accelerate your access to whatever is the reward without giving up anything important (i.e. money, read: play a high-rate private server).
Yes, indignity. My mom has a little problem with asking me if I've taken my meds after I bawl my eyes out over something. Maybe I'll talk to her about that. (90% of the time the answer is yes, I took them. [expletive!!!!!!!!!])
Being physically attractive or charming scares me because it's a risk with little to no reward for me. I really don't want to be approachable or appealing, because I am, like every other human being, difficult and intimidating. I think what I want is to be loved for existing, and not existing with some adorable trait I don't care about so some jerkoff wants me to be his little pet. I've talked about my parents loving me, and the consensus is that they are thrilled that I exist, and they'll love me forever even when I don't? I like that, that feels great. Family love is different from boyfriend love, but it's all intimacy and I think ideally my imaginary boyfriend and I would feel like that for each other.
Coming back to MMORPGs...I'm pretty sure I've discussed this before, but there are problems with guys professing true love to a set of pixels. True love is good, lust is okay, but I get guys who say that I am required to honor true love even when I don't feel it back. (Or guys who just try to guilt me into partying them like the one in my comment.) Ragnarok sprites are shallow as 2D. I like what I see sometimes, but it's not right to expect anything deeper than the tiny width my monitor uses to show them.
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Date: 2008-02-22 11:08 pm (UTC)Yes, indignity. My mom has a little problem with asking me if I've taken my meds after I bawl my eyes out over something. Maybe I'll talk to her about that. (90% of the time the answer is yes, I took them. [expletive!!!!!!!!!])
Being physically attractive or charming scares me because it's a risk with little to no reward for me. I really don't want to be approachable or appealing, because I am, like every other human being, difficult and intimidating. I think what I want is to be loved for existing, and not existing with some adorable trait I don't care about so some jerkoff wants me to be his little pet. I've talked about my parents loving me, and the consensus is that they are thrilled that I exist, and they'll love me forever even when I don't? I like that, that feels great. Family love is different from boyfriend love, but it's all intimacy and I think ideally my imaginary boyfriend and I would feel like that for each other.
Coming back to MMORPGs...I'm pretty sure I've discussed this before, but there are problems with guys professing true love to a set of pixels. True love is good, lust is okay, but I get guys who say that I am required to honor true love even when I don't feel it back. (Or guys who just try to guilt me into partying them like the one in my comment.) Ragnarok sprites are shallow as 2D. I like what I see sometimes, but it's not right to expect anything deeper than the tiny width my monitor uses to show them.