cuddlefish

My japanese name is 黒田 Kuroda (black field) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Regardless of the fact that I'm kicking out the "Kuroda" in favor of "Kataoka" because (however futile it was) I did take the time a year or so ago to find a web page that says my last name is "hill" and "[diminuitive]" together, this name generator is fucking great and you must use it right fucking now. (There, look, I'm sorry I put that in such a big font, I was saving up.)

Oh, but two disclaimers: It likes the surname "Ishimaru." I think there's better. Also, if you put in your middle name, your first name is automatically "three thousand generations" because you have three words in your name. So maybe you don't want to do that.

I should announce that I believe, more than anything else, that pain is not for comparison. Saying someone's problem is not a problem because you compared it to someone else's problem and found a difference in, like, WEIGHT, or something, just fucking RUINS everything. Telling people they are not supposed to vent and talk and make noise and act like fucking morons just fucking ruins them. (I should know this.) I think the right to talk about whatever however you want, as long as you're not telling other people to shut up for LONG, should never be denied. You can disagree with what is said, but not with the fact that it must be said. This goes doubly for LJ, where people put down their own accounts of their own time and their minds, and that should be sacred without even having to be private. Also, I'm sensitive and kinda stupid.

I don't like the whole thing because it's about finding people who are wrong and reporting them. Yes, this definitely has something to do with the whole fiasco with Scimitar Smile, which I bore some witness to. Sol landed up there for being a prima donna. Actually, they said she had a fucking prima donna complex, I think.

Or maybe she landed up there because the diary entry in question had the right number of long comments, and she was famous enough.

I never went back and figured out who the hell put that up there, but please understand that I'm not fucking giggling that Sol got wanked. Some beautifully uninvolved, detached, logical STRANGER who had nothing to do with it and actually probably came by after WE were all done with the ugly affair, picked it up and thought they could score brownie points with fandom_wank by throwing it around and pretending they understood what happened. Well, yes, I'm sorry, that's a mean thing to say, and the second I find out who it ACTUALLY was, I'm going to regret saying that, but I try not to get ahead of myself. The point is, I'm offended that something that I took pretty personally was put up in some other place and actually thrown up for debate by complete strangers. Here's a continuation of everything people were saying that pissed me right the fuck off.

And they do this, like, every day.

Well, okay, I'm sorry, I have a rule about not slashing real people, and now I'm just not going to embrace fandom_wank, even though it's a joke, even though it's killing fools, even though it's intellectual, even though it's cute and "stimulating" to piss people off, even though it is a DESPERATELY NEEDED way of policing the stupid that's out there, even though they're funny sometimes. It's judgment, and that, or fear of it, makes me ill. No, I'm serious! I have a disease that gives me a specter in my head telling me all the time that I am wrong, bad, and disgusting! The bitch never shuts up! When I start living and dealing with something that has so much JUDGEMENT, I start applying it to myself. Pretty soon, whole huge continents of things I would like to talk about with other human beings are unacceptable. In my very important, sacred LJ.

Before you completely write me off as Ranting Again,