cuddlefish (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cuddlefish) wrote2005-08-06 12:56 pm
cuddlefish) wrote2005-08-06 12:56 pm
(no subject)
So nowwwwwww there's a waaaaaake todaaaay. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
It's only hitting me now because I've been in an inpenetrable funk for like the last 48 hours, but I'm going to a thing for a dead person for all three hours, and I have to figure out an outfit I don't hate (mom will help thank god), figure out what I'm going to say if anything, tolerate a wake and/or talk to people about how I feel. Minori will be there and she will be SAD, the whole thing will be sad, and I'm (internally) fussing over a RoyEd fanfic, bittersweet life etc., relationships, friendships, art, and various other shit I was worried about before poor old Ann died. I care, I REALLY REALLY do, but I'd like to deal with it maybe a few days from now, because I'm working out other things that make me sad now and they just came first, it's not like I picked it out. And I can't get out of this event, by the way, I'm not going to let myself say, damn, I can't go to a wake now. Not a fucking chance in hell.
HELP. I thought it would get better with a good night's sleep but I AM MESSED UP RIGHT NOW.
Ann will be cremated and her ashes will be scattered in Minori's gorgeous back yard. I think the wake will not be open casket. I'm going to bring cookies I happened to make on Thursday.
It's only hitting me now because I've been in an inpenetrable funk for like the last 48 hours, but I'm going to a thing for a dead person for all three hours, and I have to figure out an outfit I don't hate (mom will help thank god), figure out what I'm going to say if anything, tolerate a wake and/or talk to people about how I feel. Minori will be there and she will be SAD, the whole thing will be sad, and I'm (internally) fussing over a RoyEd fanfic, bittersweet life etc., relationships, friendships, art, and various other shit I was worried about before poor old Ann died. I care, I REALLY REALLY do, but I'd like to deal with it maybe a few days from now, because I'm working out other things that make me sad now and they just came first, it's not like I picked it out. And I can't get out of this event, by the way, I'm not going to let myself say, damn, I can't go to a wake now. Not a fucking chance in hell.
HELP. I thought it would get better with a good night's sleep but I AM MESSED UP RIGHT NOW.
Ann will be cremated and her ashes will be scattered in Minori's gorgeous back yard. I think the wake will not be open casket. I'm going to bring cookies I happened to make on Thursday.
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